Saturday, September 10, 2005

Sniglets

Here are some sniglets I made up.

BREER - The last beer you had, the one that put you away.

BUMMERANG - A boomerang that won’t come back.

CAMERAFLAGE - Where Alan Funt hides his cameras.

CHORL - To squirm in your chair in an effort to make the same noise it just made, so the other people in the room won’t think it came out of you.

CINEMASPOTS - Those blotches that appear on a movie screen when a reel is about to end.

CONDURANCE - The quality of being able to put up with an annoying person without telling them to shut up.

CONFECTIONETTI - The streamer found in every Hershey’s kiss.

CRUGLES - Bits of corn cob that get stuck in your teeth.

DEEGAB - The poor excuse of a disc jockey who ruins all your favorite songs by talking over the first and last thirty seconds of each of them.

DONTNUT - The one donut left in the box when someone in the office brings in donuts. No one eats the dontnut, and it goes stale and gets thrown away.

DOORMONGER - The jerk who parks so close to your car that you have to get in the other side.

FANTAPLEGIC - Someone who is unable to get out of their chair after drinking too much soda.

FAREFUDGING - Calculations done by airlines to break already-established airfares down into fare and tax, e.g. a $99 flight is $91.67 fare, $7.33 tax.

FLACUUM - A piece of lint that refuses to get picked up by the vacuum.

FLOWBLES - Initial scribbles you make with a pen to get the ink started.

FRIGIDERRIER - A very cold toilet seat.

FRIVOFLASH - The picture you take just to use up the roll of film.

GASPHALT - The culprit of a nasty odor at a party.

GLANCETIPATION - The condition of having your eyes fixed on something and being unable to stop staring.

HOODIMENT - The three millimeters of milk that some jerk left in the milk carton.

JERKOLANTERN - The hollowed-out pumpkin that someone keeps in their window until February.

LOSKING - The one sock you lose in the wash.

MAGNABAR - The solid horizontal line that travels slowly up or down your television screen when the vertical hold is slightly off.

MUMBLETUNE - One of those songs that everyone sings, but very few people seem to know the words to, like “Auld Lang Syne” and “Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay”.

MUMPER - The pothole you try to avoid but hit anyway.

NASHIER - The cashier at the supermarket who won’t believe you when you tell her the price of an unmarked item.

NAVIGUESSER - The person in the passenger seat who reads the road map but still has no idea where you are.

OCUGRIT - That hardened gook you find in your eyes when you wake up.

POSTMORTOCYTES - Popcorn kernels that pop after you shut off the cooker.

PUMPULATION - The act of squeezing a little bit more gasoline into your car’s gas tank so the amount you owe is an even dollar amount.

PUNCHKINS - The small, round pieces that are formed when you punch holes in a sheet of paper.

RECLINOPHOBIA - The innate fear, while reclining in an airplane seat, that your action is spilling the meal of the person behind you.

SHREN - An old pen that doesn’t work anymore and rips holes in paper when you try writing with it.

SLOIN - The dime you can’t pick up because your fingernails aren’t long enough.

SNACKRONISM - Stray food item in a supermarket that’s on the wrong shelf.

SNOTTOSPHERE - The air around your face after you sneeze.

SOLARIZATION - The act of lying in the sun another hour, even though you know you’re already burnt to a crisp.

SPECTACKLE - A person standing on the sideline at a football game who gets hit by a player that runs out of bounds.

SPOVUM - The one cracked egg that keeps you from buying the whole dozen.

STYROSPECKS - Those blue dots found on styrofoam coolers.

SURPLUTTON - The extra button in an elevator that mysteriously gets pushed, e.g. three people in elevator, four buttons pushed.

TOOFTOB - A little dance done by two people trying to get out of each others’ way.

TYPASTINATE - To put off your term paper until the end of the semester, start it the night before it’s due, and ask the professor for an extension.

WARPTARDS - Those greeting cards at the front of their stacks that are bent out of shape from everybody reading them.

WHANNOYER - The infant screaming at the next table in what used to be your favorite restaurant.

YUCKLE - To laugh at someone’s bad joke so as not to hurt their feelings.

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